“I’ve spoken to the baptism family” says our new vicar at coffee time, “and I’ve told them all about your service for toddlers. I suggested that once Danielle is three they might like to bring her along.”
And she goes cheerfully on her way, completely unaware that I am standing there open mouthed.
Three? Three? What can I have said that has given her the impression that a child needs to be three to come along to the toddler service?
Or perhaps it isn’t anything I’ve said. Perhaps it is the idea that Christianity needs cognition; that there is no point in introducing faith or worship to someone who cannot understand it?
Several years back now I wrote a guest post on the blog “Explore and Express” called “A Year with Penelope”: https://exploreandexpress-sheila.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/guest-post-babys-first-year-in-church.html
In it I wrote about baby Penelope’s first experiences of church – from starring as baby Samuel at 8 weeks old to watching Godly Play stories intently at 12 months.
Looking back at it now, it seems to me that this sentence is key: “We can never tell how close a person is to God, but it seems unlikely that the God we worship does not come close to small, wordless children simply because they cannot speak.”
If God indeed comes close to small children and babies, then they should be with us as part of the worshipping community from birth. No one is too young.
Recently Mary Hawes (the Church of England’s national children and youth adviser) asked a follow up question: “I’d love to know the next part of the story – is Penelope still part of the worshiping community? Was she welcomed with 2 year old tantrums, 3 year old determination…”
The simple answer to this question is that sadly this particular worshipping community no longer exists but while it did exist (in various formats) there was never a time when Penelope was not welcomed.
But there is a further aspect to this. Even as a nine month old baby, Penelope was someone who loved to be involved, and this continued during her toddler and pre-school years. This made it easy for her to be part of this small worshiping community, where there were many opportunities for her to take an active role.
But what about the other small children? The wandering toddler, the two year old in a temper, the independent three year old?
When we first began (before Penelope was born), the time before the service was spent with us rushing round trying to get everything sorted while our two and three year olds rolled over and over each other in a heap on the floor. The service usually began with us separating out the children and restoring them to their families while the leader began, “Welcome to our all age service.”
For despite the chaos, they were welcome. We might have envisaged a service where the children sat quietly beside their parents, waiting patiently for us to begin; it wasn’t what we got. We worked at it. We put down toys to engage the children before the service began and looked for ways (such as taking a prayer leaf or a candle to a chosen place in the church) to involve them in getting ready for worship.
And somehow an ethos of welcome developed at this service. It extended not just to the babies and the tricky two year olds but also to the adult with dementia, the person with learning difficulties, the autistic older child…
If we believe that no one is too young to take part in worship, then it follows that no one is too different or too difficult either… Worship is for all…